Help Love Him Home

With only two months left to go (and very unlikely but possibly only one) -- we figured it was past time to kick things into high gear.

Quite honestly, I'm writing to you today with fear trembling through my fingers, and nervousness pounding my heart like never before - but there is a sweet lil boy on the other side of the world that is waiting for us, and he's our motivation. 

As you've heard me say, we've currently paid 9,000.00 in adoption fees and related expenses up to this point.

With that said, the biggest fee is due soon (a whopping $15,000.00)! This fee is the main adoption program fee which includes a $5,700.00 orphanage donation, and the rest of the costs go to  cover his Chinese passport and U.S. visa fees costs associated with obtaining updates, costs for personnel, administrative overhead, training and education both in the U.S. and China; Legal adoption services and communications, working with government and agency authorities, central authority fees (including fees related to these services), and child welfare projects in China.

We have prepared to pay the rest of the costs ourselves out-of-pocket (approximately 13k for all traveling expenses which includes our visas, airfare (including in-country flights), guide fees, transfer fees, food, hotel, and more. We are also paying a couple thousand dollar post-placement visit and processing fee as well, all totaling over 15k. 

We understand this is our choice. But we also understand it was not his choice to be an orphan. We also certainly do not expect any help, but will graciously take any help that's offered.

I'll always remember a part of one of my favorite adoption books, where the author speaks of being in process to adopt his son from Russia, and an elderly man at his church randomly offered a 10,000.00 check to help. The author continues to write and said he refused the check and said he could never accept such a gift, then the elderly man looked straight in his eyes and simply said, "Look, this isn't about you." Those words stuck with me since. It isn't about us. It never was.

We are beyond thankful for the prayers and words of encouragement that have helped bring us to this point. There are no words to express our gratitude in that alone. We've been asked by a few people how they can help monetarily. I know that when we've helped others in the past, we wanted our money to go the *farthest,* and we've always preferred to donate directly to a cause without purchasing something (let's say I pay $25 for a t-shirt for a fundraiser, the fundraising family gets approximately $15 of that -- that's 10 more dollars I'd prefer just to donate directly -- but I understand why this is amazing for those who like to shop, etc). We also know people are uncomfortable sending checks through the mail, so we looked into our options and created an AdoptTogether account (a fundraising site solely for adoptive families). Most donations are tax-deductible. Once you look at our profile, feel free to check out "How It Works" and watch the video. Many adoptive-families (some we know) have successfully used AdoptTogether.

http://adopttogether.org/stumpfamily

Any amount will help, but if you're not able to give and still want to contribute - your prayers are coveted the most. If you want to put some legs on those prayers, feel free to share our story. Share our blog. And share our AdoptTogether site. Every 'Share' helps! You just never know who out there has adoption laid upon their hearts and may be blessed in contributing.

If you missed it, go to our previous post where we introduce our little guy to you!! Yes, there are pictures!!

adopttogether.org/stumpfamily

They Said YES and Pending 800 Approval!!!!

Friends...

We are beyond happy to share with you that...

China said YES!!! We have our LOA (Letter of Acceptance)!!!!

I thought this day would never come (or at least that's how it's felt!).

So...

Without further ado....

(The photo on the left is the most recent we have which is a stillshot from a video we received in July.      The pictures on the right were some of the first ones we saw of him - taken in early May!!)

We yearn to have him in our arms safe and sound, and forever..

But the good news is our process will be moving full-steam ahead at this point!

So now what are we waiting for (to travel)???

The same day we received China's approval in hand, we applied again and overnighted our application and all the supporting documents to USCIS (US Citizenship and Immigration) to adopt him *specifically.* You may remember earlier on that we applied to the USCIS to adopt in general -- now we must have approval from them (US side of things) to specifically adopt this sweet lil guy. :-)

*This approval (I-800 with USCIS) should come in about a week. Once we receive our I-800, there are a handful of other steps before we receive our travel approval from China. If all steps run as smoothly and timely as possible, we could travel in November - but we are most likely looking at December it seems. Please pray for a speedy process at this point! We're hoping and praying hard for early November travel (next would be early Dec). Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Stay tuned!!

August Update

I just realized recently that we pretty much left you hanging on that last post, and that was close to two months ago - my apologies!!

This process has already been proven to be bumpier than we hoped (we expect things to get bumpy, but are admittedly always too hopeful they wont be -- assuming that's just human nature).

There are always unknowns in this process. And the unknowns are typically "harder" than the knowns. But recently I've been trying to stop dwelling on the unknowns and put trust in the fact that they are God-knowns. We may not know, but God does, and that alone gives us much needed peace and comfort.

We got videos!!!!!

We received a small medical update as well as three short videos. Three. Short. Videos - you all! You can imagine how many tears flowed when viewing these. In one video he's playing with this wooden fishing game (I found it on Amazon!), another he's threading that thick string through little blocks with holes, and the last one he's drawing on one of those magnet-doodles. We caught a glimpse of his smile in one video where he proudly puts the wooden stick on the hole where the fish goes and looks up at the nanny holding the camera and gives a quick smile!! You bet I screenshotted it and saved it as a picture. While he's doodling on the magnadoodle-type-toy, at one moment he's proud of his "work" and lifts his hands in celebration and makes an "Eee!!" sound -- undoubtedly the most precious sound you've ever heard.

In the videos we also got to see his arms and legs since he's in a t-shirt and shorts (like I said before, he's layered up in the first pictures we received). He's so little!! His face is less filled out in the videos, and he has the sweetest tiny arms and legs.

So now what?!

We're currently waiting for China to send our "Letter of Acceptance" which is a formal letter stating we can adopt him. We should have our LOA within the next couple of weeks!! After we receive our formal Letter of Acceptence, we'll have to file again to the USCIS (US Immigration) to specifically adopt him. Some more paperwork is tied up in this phase of the process, and then we'll be waiting for travel approval and a Consulate appointment from China (granting us permission to come and finalize his adoption).

When will you travel?

From receiving our LOA, we could potentially travel in as little as two months , or three, and as many as four. As of right now, we are praying and hoping we can travel November 4 (our agency's travel date for his province). The next travel date if we miss Nov 4th is Dec.2nd. As much as we hope for Nov. 4, we are thinking we may end up traveling Dec. 2nd...but boy, would November be nice!! We just hope we can travel as soon as possible!

Please keep praying!

One day is one day too long in an orphanage, and our little boy will have spent about 2 1/2 years in his by the time we're able to get him. There is no wrapping your mind around that alone. Please pray for him. I pray every day that God wraps His loving and protective arms around his little body until we're able to wrap him in ours.

Please pray that the rest of the process runs as smoothly as possible.

We have unknowns regarding his medical that won't be answered until he's finally home with us and seen by doctors. Please pray for an as positive outcome possible regarding all of that.

Please pray for the financial aspect of this process. So far we've paid close to $9,000.00 out of pocket in cash (in direct fees and related expenses). The biggest fee (which consists of different fees into one big one) is to come within just a couple months which is $15,000.00. We also have added costs between that fee and travel costs (Visas, post-placement visit fees that are paid in advance, etc). After that, we have to pay for our travel which will easily total over $10,000.00.  I know, I know.. *Breathe in...breathe out* Ontop of those costs, we have to prepare for out-of-pocket medical costs our insurance may not cover once home. It's easy to get overwhelmed when adding up all these costs in our heads - but we try to have peace that it will all work out.

I'll share more later in another post why the process costs so much, and break down the costs so that it's more easily understood. I've said it before, but I guess I'll say it again -- the process to adopt is what consists of all the costs (children themselves do not cost anything, so please don't ask adoptive-couples how much their "children cost"). $35k+ seems like a lot of money, but if you ask me, it's nothing when we're talking about one less orphan. This isn't something temporary or short-term, or a frivolous investment -- we're talking about making an orphan a beloved and forever cherished son.

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So, in the meantime we will certainly keep you updated!! We are praying and hoping we have our Letter of Acceptance from China in the next couple of weeks. Once that happens, we will post pictures, and you will finally get to see the little sweetie you have been reading and praying so much/so long about!

Below::

Here is the photo album we sent to our agency just recently to have sent to our little guy! It's an amazing feeling to know soon the little one you've been thinking, dreaming, and praying for is finally going to be shown and told he has a mommy and daddy (and brother and sister)!! He cannot comprehend what "mommy and daddy" really means (yet!), but we pray and hope he is granted some peace and comfort as he looks at the album.

 We'll hopefully receive pictures back of him looking at it within the next month!

 This was a blanket made close to 55-60 years ago for Billy's dad and/or aunt (so made by our little one's great-great grandma). Check out the panda holding the US flag!! This will be the most treasured addition to our little guy's room for sure!

 Just a few things we've collected for our boy! (Pictured on Micah's old bed that we haven't stored away yet -- our little one will start out in a crib. Thankfully we saved the kids' crib and toddler bed, so we're good to go bed-wise!)

 More precious room additions. Childhood books given from a grandparent.

The Day WE GOT THE CALL!!

After posting our last blog post stating I've felt God whispering in my heart the words "Soon you'll find out why you've been waiting" -- just a couple hours after we received THE long-awaited-and-prayed-for call of our lives! Seriously...God's amazing. We are so undeserving of His goodness in this process. So undeserving to have the privilege to walk this journey with Him leading us, and so very undeserving to become parents to an amazing little guy. We are already humbled, and the journey is only beginning.

The day we got the call

It was a beautiful sunshiney and light breezy yet pretty ordinary-feeling June day; June 24 on Friday. It was also a day that was particularly hard in the waiting, yet I had peace and hope that I felt God was impressing upon my heart. I had just written that blog post and even sent some messages pouring my heart out to another mama that's adopting -- honestly doing a little whining (I know, shame on me!). We were getting ready to head out for a homeschool families' picnic that evening when the phone rang. Something in me just felt this call would be different. I run for the phone, look at the ID number and saw it looked similar to our social worker's. So I pick up and answer, "Hello?!" She begins to tell me about this little boy who just turned 2. "He is described as a smart lovely boy.." "It says he is talkative, though shy." "He is squatting down in one photo and in another stringing a string through a block with a hole in it." And after several more words..."Would you be interested in viewing his file?" With no hesitation I responded "Yes, yes, yes, of course!!!" The director of Holt's China program called to tell some more information, and let me know they would send the file via e-mail shortly after.

My head is failing at even attempting to swim at this point; heart is pumping a million beats per minute. I call Billy, then text asking to call me back. Finally - he answers and says he'll be leaving work as soon as he's able to get home so we can view the file together. ONE hour, friends! I had to wait ONE hour for him to get here! I think I managed pretty well. I finished making fruit salad for the picnic, swept floors, and grilled brats while waiting for him to get here.

He walks in the door and greets our super-excited-as-usual-tail-waggin'-dog and kids, then we head immediately to our bedroom to open the file without the kids around.

We wanted to read all the information about him before seeing any pictures, but right-off-the-bat there was a tiny headshot picture of him. I think I was so shell-shocked with a flood of emotions that couldn't even fully process that picture -- and we just began to read and pour over his file. Every known fact and date about this lil sweetie's life was listed right before our eyes.

His pictures

After reading his file we get down to five amazingly clear and big pictures of this lil guy. One picture it seems he was caught mid-play with this half-looking-smirk (possible attempt of a smile) on his face holding a lil lego-looking-toy car in one hand. In another picture he's squatting like a champ looking at the floor. Another he's at the table putting this thick string through a hole in a block very inquisitively. The next picture he's in a pit of clearish-plastic-balls just looking upward toward the camera with a very solemn look (this is our favorite picture of him). He's got layers of clothing on (common for China of course). A shirt underneath, a thick yellow (scratchy-looking) wool-like sweater, a puffier vest over that, and dark blue jeans (which seem to have layers under as well).

What he looks like

Very short obviously buzzed hair that's beginning to grow into maybe a half inch of pure heavenly-rubbable-fuzziness. Small yet entrancing dark brown eyes. A little drawn-down-mouth with lips that easily purse -- I imagine great for pouting and melting our hearts. Little hands showing amazing dexterity already; and precious little fingers perfect for wrapping mama and baba right-tight-around each one of them. And little cherubic kissable cheeks and forehead for sure. :-)

Some about him

He's described as a "smart and lovely boy." Described as shy but also talkative. He's supposedly a great sleeper (will not get our hopes up on that one!). He loves fish, noodles, rice, rice mush, and "fruit mud" and is described as having a good appetite. He also loves to "bask in the sunshine." Ha! I hope that's true and that he gets fresh air every day. His fine motor skills seem on target. Developmentally doing well considering. He's 24 lbs; 32 inches tall. Though we suspect his weight is under that -- they're known to weigh them with all their clothes (which are usually layered). Over-all, he sounds beyond amazing to us.

Reality sinking in

Amazingly the next two nights we got sleep. The first couple of days we had the file I had tried to just stay calm until we could get a doctor to review the paperwork. The third night having his file is when I really began to process it all; I maybe got a couple hours of sleep that night. I just poured and poured over it all and his story; obsessing over every detail or lack thereof. A flood of emotions overtook and broke me that night. I had seen so many little faces through advocacy and read pieces of their stories, but it's so different when you're holding pictures and the backstory of a little one that very well may be your child. Your. Son.

Billy is smitten. I think that's obvious. The kids? Definitely. There really are no words to describe all of this. You pray, dream, obsess, research, and wait like crazy for months and months, then just randomly one day you get a call that potentially will lead you quickly to your son or daughter. Crazy (good)? Yes. Amazing? Definitely. Scary? Yes. Exciting? For sure. Miraculous? Absolutely!

We had his file reviewed by a doctor specializing in international adoption, who's Chinese himself and reads Mandarin (a blessing because he can read the original file that's in Chinese). The report back to us was better-than-expected. We are requesting additional information from his orphanage, which we now wait for. I don't want to over-share in this post, so I'll keep it at that.

Thank you for taking your time to follow our journey! Thank you for praying! And please keep praying!! Now's the time it's needed more than ever!
...STAY TUNED...

                         








Daddy (Bill[y]) showing our girl pictures of the lil guy >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Soon We'll Find Out

Still waiting, friends!

In our last post, I talked about how the wait for us is nothing compared to our little one's and others like them all around the world that wait for a family. I try to not lose sight on this, and forget who this is all about (which is not us).

Still, I'd be lying to say the wait isn't getting to us.

We wake up and go to bed with it on our minds. We dream about our little one -- even our kids dream about them as well! We. Are. Constantly. Thinking. And. Dreaming. About. It.

It quite frankly boggles our minds that we're still waiting. But we have to hold patiently firm to the truth that God's sovereign, and His hand is in this.

Lately I sense God whispering in my heart "Soon you'll find out why you've been waiting this long.." Really that's just fact in this phase of the process -- of course we'll find out why we've been waiting this long when we see their face, but whether or not there's extra meaning behind all of that -- we will see. This heart-whisper though gives extra peace in the waiting.

If you've been praying for us -- thank you so much. Feel free to e-mail us anytime with questions, words of encouragement, you name it (I believe there's a place on our blog where you can do that - if not, comment asking for our e-mail).

I'll leave you with this, and pray maybe it impacts your heart like it has mine::

"When I grew up in the orphanage it was Christians who came and built nicer buildings. Christians who bought us beds, clothing and provided money monthly for food. It was a Christian, who wrote a letter in a shoebox, who first told me I was loved. It was the Christians who met all my physical and material needs in that orphanage...

But it was also Christians who neglected my biggest need. Children in orphanages don't need more money, nicer buildings or better clothes. I am not an orphan because I lost my home or provisions. I am an orphan because I lost my parents. I needed a mom and a dad. I needed a family. Christians treated all my temporary symptoms of need but never cured my long-term disease of being orphan. I am still an orphan."

-A quote by a 30 year old orphan who aged out of an orphanage where he lived his whole life, spoken at the CAFO Summit 2013-

Remember Beau from the last post? He's still waiting. Please pray his family sees him! He has a grant for his adoption, and a family can be matched with him even at the start of their adoption process since he's "Special Focus." https://waitingchildinfo.com/2014/10/01/beau-2/ There are *so* many other children listed on that site as well if you poke around. The least yet most we can do for these children is to pray.

Our Waiting Is Nothing Compared To Theirs

12 weeks exactly this day our paperwork was sent to China.

While this waiting is tough for us -- it's absolutely nothing in comparison to the wait our little one and others like him (or her) are having to endure.

You would probably agree an orphanage is no place for a child like I always have -- but it wasn't until soon before we started this process that that reality really sank in. When that reality truly sinks in, you feel no other option than to do something about it.

Would you want your baby sleeping on plywood? Eaten up by scabies as they lay on plywood? Failing to thrive from malnourishment because they haven't received surgery for their cleft palate? Laying in bed so much and so long that the back of their heads are completely flat? Never going outside four walls? How about being told that in four months you'll age out at 14 years old and never be able to be adopted after that? Never knowing the love of a mother and father? Never kissed goodnight? Rocked slowly to sleep? For every month a child is in institutionalized care, they are set back at least 3 months developmentally due to neglect, lack of stimulation and one-on-one attention, and other general care. I'm sure you agree that if this isn't okay for our own children, this is not okay for any children. Here and abroad.

Adoption from China (and internationally in general) has fallen to the lowest numbers recently. According to the last recorded data, in 2011, Americans adopted 2,587 children from China -- sounds like a lot, right? That is still just 2% of all the children in institutional care in China alone, and hear this:: just 0.4% of all the orphaned children there!

As of last month, there were around 2,500 children in China alone with paperwork prepared to be adopted on the Shared List (this does not include children's whose files are agency-designated). This is a very very small portion of all of China's orphaned children. But nonetheless, these children still wait. They wait because they are older. They wait because they have "special needs." Needs as little as having a malformed ear. Needs as little as missing a finger on one hand. How is it that we can't find 2,500 or so families for these children? While that number seems large, it's so entirely small considering how many people right now in the US there are with the love and resources to take in one of those children.

Please take a moment and visit this following website that advocates for waiting children in China (and other countries). https://waitingchildinfo.com/

The least yet most we can do is PRAY over each of these faces. Don't be surprised if your heart isn't further moved for these children. As you sit and stare at their faces, your heart will be changed.

Here is Zachary. He's the sweetest lil guy who has microtia of one ear. He's only 1 1/2 years old and perfectly healthy -- just missing hearing in one ear. https://waitingchildinfo.com/2014/10/01/zachery/ Could you open your heart and home to sweet Zachary? Don't let the cost of the process scare you off. So many have completed adoptions starting with absolutely no funds. God places the lonely in families. God's heart is for the orphaned. HE will make a way.

Here is Beau. Beau has stolen a piece of my heart!! Beau is SO precious! Just check out his videos! His "need?" Repaired cleft lip, and currently unrepaired cleft palate. Couldn't you see sweet Beau just smiling with that stellar smile as you kiss him goodnight or good morning??https://waitingchildinfo.com/2014/10/01/beau-2/

Please pray over these children. Pray and seek ways you can help these children. Whether it be by sponsoring one or more each month by just paying $30 or so. By advocating for them. By fostering. By helping and encouraging a local foster family or foster children. By giving towards other families' adoptions. Or last but certainly not least - by considering adopting yourself.

While waiting in this process is at times grueling, it is nothing in comparison to THEIR waiting. 120-140+ million children's waiting. Oh God, please have us see these children as YOU do. Each one is worth DYING for. Worth. Dying. For.

We Yearn To See Your Face...

Oh Friend...

It's a little disappointing to be here again to say this...

But we have no news. I had hoped we'd have the best news yet to share with you by now.

I couldn't let our blog sit silent for more than a month, so I figured I'd just come and share my heart with you.

It's been 8 weeks and 5 days exactly since our dossier was sent to China.

And last I heard - our social worker checked in with our agency almost five weeks ago and was told they thought we'd receive our referral "soon." Our latest agency update showed they received very few files from their orphanage partnerships that month, so that could explain the waiting.

So now to share my raw-and-real-heart with you..

This process is a lot of "hurry up and wait." You rush like crazy to get paperwork done, then just wait. And wait. Then rush again. And wait again. And when the waiting is longer than you expected, your heart can't help but feel there is something wrong (even if there's truly no reason to feel that way). I've recently asked God, "Was there something on our medical needs chart we were supposed to check off??" My heart felt pulled toward a particular need many months ago, and for reasons unsaid, we just couldn't bring ourselves to check the need off. To think we may have written off a need God may have been leading us to is painful to think about -- after-all, we yearn to please our sweet Lord and to be in His ever-perfect will, and we know all-too-well that in order to do that we must lay down our fleshly-desires and pick up His. Sometimes though? It's just overwhelmingly hard to figure out which ones are ours and which ones are His...

And friend, it's honestly a little tough to see others receive their referrals or exciting updates while we're just over here banging our heads against the wall wondering when we'll ever be called. It's also tough to see sweet little guys with other agencies waiting -- and boy are there are so many! I see them waiting, and I think, "WHY ARE WE WAITING if there are so many lil guys WAITING?!"

I know you're probably wondering, "If there are SO many kiddos waiting, what's taking so long?" There are many children waiting with our agency currently, and many waiting with other agencies, as well as on the 'Shared List'..but my assumption has to be that there are no children that fit our family's profile currently designated with our agency. There is a great need for families to step up and open their hearts and homes to these children. The more families there are, the wider the net is for varying needs -- in the end placing more waiting children in loving families.

So how can you pray? Thanks for asking. :-) Here are a few ways:::

• Please pray that we have peace and discernment when reviewing the file we're referred. Please pray that the first file we will receive will be *our* child's file. While I know it happens, we just don't want to have to turn down a file because we feel their need(s) are too much for where we are currently. We pray and hope we have immediate calming discernment when we open their file.
• Please pray over the grant applications we have submitted, and will continue to submit. Being awarded any of these grants would help us cover some of the biggest upcoming fees -- overall helping to take some of the financial load off of the process.
• Please pray for our little one. We may not know who our child is yet, but God does. Pray that He comforts and provides for their needs while they wait for us, and we wait for them.

If you've read this post this far -- thank you! And thank you for praying. You have no idea what your prayers mean to us. Like I said in an earlier post -- there's no doubt in our minds that prayers have carried us this far in the process. 

And lastly, I hope we have AMAZING news to share with you in our next post!! We're hopeful we will so STAY TUNED!! :-) 

Picture below:: Check out the sweetest lil figurine our daughter made and placed in her dollhouse -- she said it's me holding our "China baby." :-)