So Why International Adoption?

Why not adopt from foster care?? :: "Just look at all the kids who need homes right in our country!"

Why not domestic adoption?? :: "Isn't it, ya know, a safer "bet" to adopt a newborn?"

Every family is unique. Each family has a unique background. Unique experiences. They're in different stages and phases in life. Unique personalities. Basically -- every family is as unique as our own individual fingerprints. Perhaps even more unique because you have an entire set of different people (with different fingerprints), personalities, backgrounds, and more -- all compiled into one incredibly unique family. Not one is the same. Needless to say, since every family is so unique, their choice for which form of adoption they choose will be unique as well. That choice will be based on which form best suits their family -- which will best match a child to that family -- and ultimately will best suit the interests of a child (which is undeniably at the heart of the matter). 

With that said -- we analyzed all forms of adoption before deciding on international (as all families do). I admit -- I think very early in the process we just knew international was the path we'd take. But believe me when I say this -- adoptive families have thought long and hard about this stuff. Please don't underestimate that. Give these families respect in that. They're not flippantly making decisions regarding adoption. And most families take many days, months, and even years to come to these decisions. They do not come to these decisions lightly.

I could give you the various reasons we ruled out domestic adoption and foster. As a quick disclaimer -- please don't take our reasoning as a way of undermining the need of adopting from foster care or domestically. I'll simply focus attention on stating why we feel our hearts have been softened and geared towards adopting internationally -- and namely, from China.

#1: International adoptions have plummeted by up to 70% in recent years due to Hague Treaty implementations, countries outright closing their programs, and stricter adoption guidelines - which bar many potential parents from adopting. This would be great if it meant that there were simply less children needing families - but the harsh reality is the fact that there are in fact *more* children needing families. So if you do the math, 70% less adoptions, yet more orphans than before --- that is simply tragic. With that said however, I understand the need for stricter guidelines and the Hague Treaty. It's just too bad there couldn't be more of a balance so more children would be placed in loving families. Just in China alone, there are over 567,000 orphans, and some outside sources claim that number is closer to a million. Ethiopia? Are you ready for this? An alarming SIX million orphans. The number of adoptions per number of orphans abroad are *very* few in between. 

According to the last recorded data, in the year 2011, only 2,587 children were adopted from China. Does that number seem large? Far from. That is still only 0.4% of the orphaned children in China.

#2: The grave reality behind waiting children abroad is that these children are among the most vulnerable. Very vulnerable. Many go without basic medical care. And many have life-threatening conditions that will go untreated. Many have more minor to moderate conditions that could be easily corrected or treated with therapy, attention, or with surgery - yet they will go without. And so many will even lose their lives. Many are starving. Others literally have nothing. And the majority are living in overcrowded orphanages with little one-on-one interactions and little stimulation. Some are outright beaten and abused, even in government-ran orphanages and facilities. And many age out -- leading to a life of devastation in poverty-or-war-torn countries or countries that simply lack the numerous resources ours has.

Take a moment and quickly research pictures of inside orphanages around the world. There are videos. Articles. But please be cautious and do so without little ones around. Some of what you will find is absolutely horrifying. Gut-wrenching. 

With all that said -- there are definitely orphanages out there that are doing the best they can. Thanks to non-profit organizations like Half the Sky, conditions of orphanages in China over-all have largely improved in past recent years. With that said, orphanages are still overcrowded, and even the "best" orphanage is no replacement for a loving home with a mother and father. The negative effects of institutionalized children are endless. Institutionalization affects a child's development in many ways; i effects their behavioral, physical, intellectual, and social emotional health. Again, an orphanage is not a way of life for any child.

https://www.hrw.org/news/2014/09/15/russia-children-disabilities-face-violence-neglect


#3: Most obvious reason -- because every child is precious. Every child deserves a family. Every child deserves to have their basic needs met. And so -- our view of meeting needs of children isn't limited to those inside our own country; just as God's love isn't limited to those in our country. We believe we *all* have a responsibility to *all* children; here and around the world. 

#4: We didn't feel the immense need to have a newborn baby. I definitely know many that do -- and that's perfectly alright. And, it's true, the younger the child you adopt, the more likely they will more easily healthily attach. After-all, the longer a child has spent in institutionalized care (or foster care), the longer it will take for them to heal once placed in their adoptive families. So in some ways, it is "safer" to adopt a newborn, if you choose to use that cringe-worthy choice of word. But I can't tell you how many times I've read or talked with other families who just gleam from the progress they see in their adopted children, whom they adopted as young toddlers and older. They will tell you what a treasure it is to see them blossom -- not just emotionally, but socially, and even physically (many come home, to some degree, malnourished).  And research, although daunting on the effects of institutionalized care like I brought up earlier, is also encouraging. There is hope for even the child who's been institutionalized for many years.

#5: Because China is where our child is. That's the answer most will give when people ask the "why" to choosing a particular country. Quite honestly -- our reasons in the beginning for choosing China were more practical than heart-felt (although it definitely quickly grew into a "our hearts feel led toward China" thing). We were actually originally suggested by our agency to go with the India program -- mostly because we were *just* out of reach age-wise for China. After reviewing the programs, we quickly and mutually decided China fit our family best. China is one of the most dependable/stable programs. You only have to travel once instead of twice. The process to adopt from the Waiting Child program is not only dependable, but fairly "quick" in comparison to other programs. Additionally, the need is there. There are many waiting children in China -- the majority having some sort of special/medical need. 90% of children abandoned in China have a special/medical need of some sort (many are minor and/or correctable). So, more than likely, when you research programs, one will stick out from the others. And that was China with us. And now -- we couldn't imagine choosing another program. Our son or daughter is undoubtedly Chinese, because they're undoubtedly in China.

http://www.lwbcommunity.org/why-international-adoption-still-matters-2

For information on sponsoring a child through Holt:: 
https://holtsponsor.org:4443/sponsor/holt.writepage?page=photolisting5

To give to support family preservation:: 
https://www.holtinternational.org/gifts/

Update

As I begin writing this -- it's about 8:30 pm in China. Most likely our little one is currently either getting ready to go to sleep or already sound asleep. And as we go to bed this evening -- he or she will be waking up to the same morning sun we'll be waking up to tomorrow morning...

I can't begin to tell you how amazing yet incredibly daunting that is to know. In fact, it's absolutely mind-blowing.

While our current two children are about to wake up to begin the day -- I know they're safe, their bellies are full, they know the love of a mama and baba, and they're simply over-all cared for. Our China baby? They're waking up among many others in the same room. Their needs in the morning won't be met immediately. Their belly will be hungry. They may be sitting in a soiled diaper for a few more hours. And they won't get immediate kisses and cuddles from a mama or baba when they open up their beautiful-sleepy-brown eyes.

That pains me to no end. What we would give to just be able to speed through the process and be on a plane tomorrow to swoop them up in our arms. Oh - what we would give. I consistently pray that God cradles them in His warm embrace, giving them the most possible comfort as possible while they wait for us -- and we wait for them.

Every day I see referral approvals (such as these: http://adoptedbydesign.typepad.com/blog/2015/11/3-families-received-referral-approvals-from-china-today.html), gotcha day photos, you name it while scrolling through my FB newsfeed or different blogs. These give an extra smile to my day and an extra beat to my step, but I admit -- it makes me wish we could skip ahead and receive our referral approval for our little one in our hands. Or better yet -- be on a plane to pick them up.

Patience. A. Lot. Of. Patience.

Could you pray for our little one? Pray for protection. Comfort. That their needs will be met until we're able to meet those needs. Perhaps this sounds a bit foreign to others -- after-all, we have no idea who they are. What they look like. Their circumstances. Their special need. Not even their gender. Nor the day or month they were born -- but we know they're most likely out there nonetheless, and we're already crazy about them.

So to our lil' munchkin -- we're coming for you. As quickly as we possibly can, which can't be quick enough.

Different ones will ask us how the adoption process is going. Not a whole lot to say other than "it's goin'!" But we're fairly "on track" as planned. Our biggest goal is to have our dossier sent to China anytime in February. February 4th really is as soon as we can have it in China due to Billy turning 30 then (you and your spouse have to be 30 years old to adopt from China).

So as a quick update:: we had our homestudy paperwork done for some time, and have had one of our homestudy visits with our social worker just recently. She'll be back to conduct the last two visits next week and said she hopes to have our homestudy report written up before the month closes. We love our social worker -- she has adopted herself, has siblings who've adopted, and she's over-all just a lovely, friendly, laid-back social worker.

Back to the homestudy business -- your homestudy report consists of all your homestudy paperwork as well as a written report from the social worker. If you remember from other posts, your homestudy paperwork is 25+ signed and notarized documents ranging from 40+ personal question data forms, financial documents (including a break-down of monthly expenses), medical examination forms, FBI background clearances, adoptive-parent training completion certificates, employment letters, marriage license, birth certificates, family pictures, tax forms, and the list goes on. Your homestudy consists of those forms, as well as the report your social worker writes up on your family (I've heard it's typically 6+ pages) -- this report basically makes the case you'd make good adoptive parents.

With all that said, we're excited to have our home study officially completed here soon! The next step after our home study is officially written and compiled with the other documents, is to have it OK'd through our adoption agency branch office in Omaha, then once they OK it -- they'll send it to our agency's main headquarters in Eugene, OR for final approval -- and once *they* approve it, then it will be sent to USCIS (US Citizenship and Immigration) (along with our little one's preliminary visa application) for final approval. Approval from USCIS (which is basically approving our homestudy which approves us to adopt) can happen (for some) in just weeks, or (more likely) two months  -- we then have a fingerprinting appointment set (yes-- more fingerprints!) by USCIS, and once that stuff is done -- we *then* send that with our other completed paperwork (dossier) to China.

And so we're currently working on our dossier paperwork. Yes, more paperwork! This is a laundry list of things -- including new original birth certificates, new marriage license (they need a newly issued one), *another* background check, more data forms to fill out, financial data form, passports, medical exam reports, additional employment letters, family application letter, etc. Our hope and prayer is that our homestudy is sent to USCIS, quickly approved and sent back, and the rest of our dossier paperwork will be completed so that we can compile everything and have it sent to China in February (Billy's 30th birthday -- and if you ask me -- that'd make for an incredible 30th!). Our social worker reminded us that we need to try to get the rest of our dossier compiled because we could receive a referral anytime after our homestudy is officially completed (and that's not that long from now!). That made things a bit more "real." We're open to either gender, and seeing now that not many families are currently in the process open to boys -- we really could see a referral fairly quickly. I won't get my hopes up too much though, and assume it won't come for some time.

And I believe Billy must be getting antsy because I caught him looking at the photolisting just lastnight. :-)

So in the mean-time -- we'll finish up these last visits with the social worker, submit our last key documents for our dossier -- but we'll most importantly, keep praying for our "China baby" (as our daughter calls them) and keep dreaming of the day we'll have them safe and sound in our arms.